Having To Work In Retirement Sucks...

...but having to work for totally obnoxious arsehats while retired is misery almost unbearable. If I really did not need the money, that I will make over the next few weeks, to pay for this coming winter's heating oil, I would have quit my job today. Sadly my earnings for this week and last week will go toward paying for damage to another persons car that I hit a couple of weeks back and my pension is not enough to cover regular bills with heating oil thrown in to the mix. Sometimes you just have to bear it. Note that I did not say grin and bear it because I most assuredly am not grinning.

If you are working now at your first career, or even in a shit job before you get into a real career, let me tell you what I told my son in a text message less than hour ago:

"Save as much money as you can now, in an IRA or 401K (or whatever it's called) so when u retire, you won't have to work. Working fucking sucks once retired."

If I write more than that, right now, my head may explode despite the vodka cherries (my own concoction) I just had and the vodka I just drank. So, I'll stop now before my brains erupt all over my laptop.

All the best,
Glenn B.

It Was 30 Years Ago Today...

...that I first took an oath to defend our Constitution. The oath to which I swore went something like this:

I, [name], do solemnly swear (or affirm) I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.

I trust and hope I have done my job up to the expectations of my fellow citizens as to what they think a federal agent should be doing. I may not have always gotten it 100 percent to every one's liking but I have never done anything to violate any one's rights, I have never even considered accepting a bribe or otherwise being corrupt let alone do anything like it, and for the great majority of the time I have striven to do my work to the best of my ability while serving the people of this great land. I even got a few awards along the way. I have worked as a Border Patrol Agent, A Customs Patrol officer, a Customs Investigator, a Customs Special Agent and an ICE Agent. In my investigative duties I have worked in financial investigations groups, narcotics groups, a general investigations group, and had a brief stint in a strategic investigations group. I have had temporary assignments to an intelligence group and to details throughout the country and to foreign shores. Thirty days in Haiti was an eye opener. I also traveled to Jamaica to testify at a trial, went to Haiti a second time for a few days and have had several temporary domestic assignments outside of my home office which included trips to: Puerto Rico (30 days), Charleston, SC (30 days), Albany, NY (45 days), Key Largo (3 weeks), Tucson (about 45 days), Laredo, TX (90 days), Washington State (30 days), Phoenix, AZ (45 days), Tucson, AZ (4 months - just this year); and there have been a number of shorter trips to places like Miami (several times), Orlando, Philadelphia (several times), San Juan (twice), San Francisco and so on. I have also been assigned to temporarily work under other agencies and completed several Secret Service details, and a five month assignment as a Federal Air Marshal (that one almost immediately after 9/11). I volunteered for all of the temporary assignments. Of course, I had some collateral duties too - I was a firearm's instructor for about 14 years. I do not have long to go now before retirement - maybe next year, maybe the following year, definitely by the year after that when continuing in my career is no longer and option for me because retirement becomes mandatory for me then.

It has been one heck of an interesting three decades since I took that oath above. I have seen the job change a lot over the years. It changed mostly due to changing attitudes of the people whom we serve. I'll not comment on what I think of that. Over those 30 years I have met a lot of interesting people. Some of them the people I have met coincidentally in the course of my duties, some I met because I investigated arrested them, others were they with whom I have worked. Out of all the ones I have met on the job, I figure I have made a handful or two of good friends (none of them people that I arrested). They know who they are - they are very dear to me even if we are not as close as good friends should be. They made it all the easier when times were tough on the job and off.

I also met a lot of very dedicated folks. Men and women who serve you each and every day and who face the prospect of being injured or killed in the line of duty while serving a nation that at times does not even seem to know or care they are in harm's way. Realizing that dedication, seeing it at work in they who live it, that has been one of the most wonderful things of my career. My biggest regret stems from that dedication too in that many whom we serve do not realize the service we give them. Yet, there are others who go out of their way to make us feel as if we have done something good that matters. To them I say thanks with all my heart. To my many associates and my few true friends on the job, I also say thanks, you have all helped to make it one heck of an interesting, fun, and worthwhile three decades long career for me. I can only hope that whatever time I have left on this job goes even half as well.

All the best,
Glenn B

Just About To Walk Out The Door To Go To Work...

...but I had to sit down to write this little bit about what I think of returning to work after my vacation:

Ugh, barf, choke, cough, wheeze, barf again, ugh...

Nuff said about returning to work after vacation.

All the best,
GB

The Floor - and 4 weeks or so later...

...still has my knees, my hips and my lower back all feeling like the icy grip of winter has frozen them painfully in place. I can only wish that I could get some of the glowing warmth promised by the prospect of Al Gore's globally warmed winters, but there does not seem to be much chance of that. It does seem however that I will be enjoying at least another day or two of a warm glow of another sort, that cast by the suns last rays across the richly finished oak floorboards over which I have been kneeling as I hammer away. Yes folks, I still have not finished one small room's (maybe 12x14) worth of flooring. I have been pretty good about keeping at it though, and each weekend over the past 4 or 5 weeks (with the exception of last weekend when I was sicker than a dog) I have been diligently lining up floorboards, cutting them to size, drilling mail holes, then hammering home the nails to put it all together. I may not be doing as good a job as a professional finish carpenter, but I sure am doing as good or better than the fly by night type of carpenter one normally hires from out of the local Pennysaver. I know, I have hired those types before, and my work is better than theirs by a long shot, cheaper too - though I will admit this laying a new floor thing has gotten more expensive than I thought it would be. My latest expense was a new Jig Saw, purchased today for $69. Sure I could have gotten the bottom of the line for $29.99, but that one was obviously a piece of junk. The one I bought may be a piece of junk too, but at least it fakes looking like a fair quality item. All I needed it for was to cut an indent in two floorboards to go around the radiator pipe, and I sure wished I could have found my old one. The fact is I am pretty sure that the old one died a while back and I threw it out. So I needed a new one regardless of doing the floor. Oh well.

The floor is almost finished though. I would have done more than 6 1/2 rows of boards today, but I ran out of nails. By the time I realized that the local hardware store was closed up tight as a clam, and Home Depot was out of the question. Heck I was just at two of them this morning to by the drill, so I would be damned if I was about to go again. Too bad I did not realize I was low on nails, piss poor planning on my part I guess. Oh well, tomorrow is another day. I figure I'll do another 6 or so rows tomorrow. Then one more good day at it and it will be finished. Maybe, just maybe, when I get hoe after visiting my mom at the rehab center tomorrow afternoon, my son will have gotten the nails and finished off most of the job. One can wish.

All the best,
Glenn B

Off To Work...

...after a ice 4 day weekend - and all I can imagine is that work will suck. Someone has to work though, and my guess is a lot of you will be working today too. Think of it this way, New Year's Eve is just around the corner. As for me, starting on New year's day my retirement countdown of 1 year, 1 day and a wake up begins. I plan to go out on January 2, 2009.

Have fun at work today. I know I'll be doing my best to do likewise.

All the best,
Glenn B

Back To Work...

...for me today. Feeling somewhat better, so I figure I had better get my butt back to the job. I have been out a week and a half straight now, with about 2 or 2 1/2 weeks added to that over the past month and a half; I am running out of sick leave. Anyway, it sucks being home with not a lot to do, I am better off at work with not much to do; though I kind of doubt I'll have little to do as I'll need to play catch up on some things.

Today though, I am hopeful they will have room for me at the range for our quarterly qualifications. I have already missed two range days I scheduled because of whatever bug has been keeping me down. I think I'll be able to shoot today, and hope I do it well. Regardless of how I do, I do need to get my qualifications finished.

No blogging for the rest of the day; probably some tonight.

All the best,
Glenn B

It's Just Another Day In Paradise

Yep, you have probably either heard me say, or seen me write it, when someone asked me how things are going. My reply of: "It's just another day in Paradise" has sort of become my standard reply. I started using it more and more frequently on October 5, 2005, the day I became eligible to retire from the federal service; and I say it around my office an awful lot. Folks at work just think I am being mildly and amusingly sarcastic. While that maybe it to a small degree, that is not it for the most part - not really.

You see I first started using that saying right after the big tsunami on December 26, 2004. After watching the news about all those people, the resorts, the villages, the roads, the railways, and the like being washed away I had a disturbing thought of a beer (I think Heineken) advertisement pop up in my head. It was the one with the beach scene, someone grabbing a cold beer, and throwing away their cell phone or beeper into the surf; and all I could think was that some guy like that had just thought - "Its just another day in paradise" and the next thing he knew, he found himself 20 miles out to sea hanging onto the trunk of a coconut tree. Yes, it made me sure that whatever life I was living, it's just another day in Paradise compared to that, and to other things that people suffer through.

So yes I have said it, and written it an awful lot over the past few years - and yes I mean it. I have realized, more and more, over the past few years that my life is akin to living in Paradise. I have a good family (despite family hardships, disagreements, arguments, grudges, marital stress which all are pretty bad at times, bad enough for counseling at times). I have a great life despite having a job that I have come to hate. The job sucks eggs or worse, but it is still a good thing if only because I have a job and it pays the bills and helps provide Paradise to me and the family. I have a house that is not a mansion, and is on the small side. Yet, it is one that is fairly solid despite needing a new main stairway, work on the roof, new gutters, landscaping or at least a decent lawn, painting, and is infested yearly by carpenter ants (I just bought this year's supply of ant poisons). I pay taxes out of my ears for my too small old house, and on my income, and on things I buy in the form of sales tax; but I guess those taxes give me something back that folks in other countries don't have. Living in the United States of America is worth most of dollars I pay to the tax man. I have my health to a fairly decent degree regardless of all my chronic aches and pains, my ailments, high blood pressure, numerous and fairly traumatic injuries, and too many operations over the years; and I am able to work even if the job stinks. My family has their health to a better degree than me and that is a very good thing. We have our hobbies and interests, we watch TV, we read, we have our pets, and we have other hobbies an interests. My daughter is a college graduate. My son, who is 17 still spends a lot of his time with me enjoying some hobbies and interests, and both of my children spend a good amount of time with my wife too. All in all, it's just another day in Paradise - really it is, I kid you not.

I think though that an awful lot of people in this country actually seem to forget how great we on the whole as Americans have it. Sure some do not have it as good as me and my family, and some have it much better; but all in all people in this country, even our poorest people have a life that is much better than many around the world. Still as I said, people seem to forget this. I do not know why or how they forget it, but they often do. I guess in a way it is understandable, you get used to your own levels, and want to improve. You wind up not seeing what you have already as being all that great since you sought of take it for granted having had it for so long. When others around you have it better, you want yours to be better too. So you are left wanting, and you wind up trying to figure out how to improve your lot.

Some people improve their lots through hard work. They work harder, give better performance, and get promoted. Or they go to school, learn something new, or improve old skills, and get a raise or a better paying job. Others will not improve themselves so much, but may work harder and do overtime, or get a second job; but they still work hard to improve their lot. Yet others will try to take the easy street, and will try underhanded or illegal means to reach an end of a better lot in life. Still others will just moan and groan and complain and put their hands out as if we who are doing better than they owe them something, when in fact they could do it themselves if they were just not out and out lazy scalliwags. Of course some are fairly satisfied with what they have, or with their ability to provide for themselves and their families. Improvement is not a bad thing, nor is satisfaction. Take either one, but if you want to improve, please do not do it at my expense - don't be the type of person who has enough already, does not realize it, wants more, and wants it from me for free.

This last type of person, the one who thinks that others owe them a freebie, a handout, charity, or compassion get to me - especially those of them who already have fairly it good and who want more on the dole without working for it. I can not stand people like that, not one bit. I do not owe anyone anything because they have decided not to work as hard as I have, or as you have, or even harder, to achieve a better standing in life. I especially can not stomach those who ask for handouts from regular guys and gals like me when they already have more than regular Joes and Janes like me and you. These folks get to me even more than those who have a little and who want handouts. The audacity exhibited by someone who is fairly well to do, yet who asks for handouts for free, is beyond my tolerance.

Yes I own a house, and I actually almost really own it outright, give me another year or two of payments and it will be mine. Yes I have two cars (one is over ten years old, close to 12 I think), the other is 2 years old and was the low end model with hand crank windows, no electronic locks or any other luxuries like that. Having a car is a luxury, but we do not own luxury cars for sure. Yes we have pets. Yes we have some other nice possessions, for instance I have a fair number of firearms, my wife has a Hummel collection and so on. Yet, we do not own a boat, we do not have a swimming pool, we do not own a large house, we do not have a large piece of property, we do not own a second residence, we do not own a country place, we do not own any recreational vehicles, we do not own even a fair amount of jewelry (yes we have some but that is minimal), we do not have health club memberships, we do not - oh you get the picture.

Now let me paint a little more onto that picture, let me paint another guy and his family into it. There are some folks out there who own: a bigger house than we do, have the house sitting on a bigger lot, have a swimming pool in the backyard, have central air-conditioning, have multiple luxury vehicles (certainly more luxurious than either the Ford Taurus or the Toyota Corolla that we own), have wonderful collections of personal effects, travel frequently, have digital this and digital that, have numerous computers at home, have big screen televisions, and on and on. These same folks are quite fit, fit enough to work at least one job, maybe even two. Yet they choose not to work, or choose to work at a job that pays a low end salary, and rather who are out there asking for guys like you and me to give them money whenever they need or want something better in their lives. I have seen people, who owned brand new Cadillacs, shopping at the grocery store while using food stamps, and complaining to the checkout clerk when the clerk told them they could not buy that necessity of life called beer with the food stamps. I know of others who frequently travel around the world both on pleasure and work related trips, who own pleasure watercraft, who have two houses, yet who incessantly ask others for handouts. What kind of a society is it in which we find ourselves when regular Janes and Joes actually give these people our hard earned money, at the expense of our own well being, free for the asking? This is not charity, charity is something you give to someone who has a need. This is insanity. I just don' t understand how it is that able bodied Americans get away with asking for, begging for, or demanding more and more in the way of financial aid or handouts of any sort. No, let me correct that, what I do not understand is that hard working Joes and Janes in the USA keep giving into to those demands, and keep giving away their own hard earned wealth, to foster a welfare mentality even among those who already have it made so well as to drive around in luxury cars, have pools in the backyard, and in general have a life of comparative luxury.

Please don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with providing charity, handouts, assistance or welfare to those who really need it such as the elderly, the physically and mentally handicapped, people who have lost work temporarily due to illness or other reasons. There is something wrong though with giving it to those who do not need or deserve it, and who continuously mooch from the rest of us without giving back their fair share to society. There is no reason to give assistance to someone who is able to work, and who can get a job (even if not one to their liking so long as it pays the rent and for the bacon) that is unless you give them a job as a form of welfare. Working for what you have, and for what you want to have, has the uncanny ability to make people respect themselves. It also has the amazing effect that it improves society as a whole, and makes us all the richer for it. It is not easy to have to work for what we want, and we may never achieve all of our goals by working toward them, yet that is no excuse for sloth. Even if we fail to achieve a certain goal, if we are not able for example to buy a Mercedes Benz, or to live in a bigger or better house, we have achieved something else that maybe worth all the more. We have achieved self respect, and the respect of our families, friends, and coworkers, and the effect that our children will most likely follow in our footsteps. If you have a good work ethic, and instill it into your children, they will probably become contributing members of society, just as were you; and maybe someday they will buy you that nicer car or bigger house (or at least invite you to live with them when you can no longer make it on your own). What a better thing than that could happen in your old age is beyond me; and if it ever happens to me, I will know without a doubt: "It's just another day in Paradise" - and I worked damned hard to earn it.

All the best,
Glenn B