...there truly are no do-overs. Most of all, I wish I could be granted a do-over for my childhood but it's never going to happen no matter how much I wish for it now. That's a shame for anyone like me who wishes likewise because it's not like you are wishing to change something you did as an adult, something for which you can often make amends if it went wrong. The thing is, you were not responsible for most of what happened in your childhood - it was your parents who were responsible for that. How I wish I could have had it happen a different way than it did, too bad my parents never made it better. Oh well, no use in crying much more over that I suppose, hell I am about to turn 63 but it still hurts thinking of it all and much better it could have been.
Then again, I wish I could go back and make it better for my children than it was but somehow I think I have at least been making the effort all these years now although I am far from perfect. I know I was certainly a better parent than either my father or mother but maybe that is not saying much - they were monsters. I hope my children know though, that I tried to be better than them and was as good as I could be as a parent. I certainly tried to be a better parent than were my parents and that was not easy with my upbringing and I am sure I was better but who knows if that was enough. I do know my children, both adults for quite the while already, turned out much better than I ever would have expected. They are fine upstanding citizens and my daughter is also a super-mom.
I would only hope that, if my grandson could realize what I am talking about, he would understand and appreciate how I treat him. In other words, maybe I was not the best father but I'll be damned if I am not going to be the best grandfather that I can be and I hope that makes amends for wherever I was lacking as a parent! I am going to spoil him rotten but only when no one is watching.
I love my family very much even if that has not always been as obvious as it should have been. Thank goodness for grandkids who can kind of, sort of, almost be that do-over that we have wanted to make amends.
All the best,