Saturday, December 12, 2009

Ballseye's Gun Shots 43 - I Am Off To Do Some Christmas Shopping...

...and it made me think that maybe you have a shootist for whom you need to shop. Of course, while you are probably not about to buy him or her a new gun for Christmas (or Chanukah) my guess is you might like to buy him something to help him enjoy his firearms sport pursuits. So what is it that you can get for some, who shoots, or collects guns, without actually buying him or her a new gun. Instead of taking pot shots in the dark let me point your sights in the right direction so you hit the bull's eye when you put that shooting accessory under the tree or the menorah. (Do you actually put items under or next to the menorah?)

I love opening up whatever I find in my Christmas stocking. I usually only get something like a Mounds bar or three in there, but that's okay cause they are great. There are some shooting supplies or accessories that make great stocking stuffers. Small items like the following all fit well into the stocking hung by the chimney with care:

A Bore Light
Shooting Glasses
A Magazine Pouch
Silicone Gun Cloths
A Box of Ammunition
An NRA Membership
A Range membership

A Portable Gun Bench/Rest
A Portable Gun Cleaning Kit
A Set of Sand Bag Rifle Rests
A Spare Rifle or Pistol Magazine
A Small Gunsmith Screwdriver Set
A Gift Certificate at his local gun shop
A Bottle of Gun Oil like Breakfree CPL
A Pocket Knife (no not really anything to do with guns but guns guys usually like knives too)

The list of smaller things that can fit in as a stocking stuffer goes on and on. Of course, if you are somewhat more aware of your loved one's shooting needs or just wanting to give something a little bigger and put it under the tree or next to the menorah there are many other choices to make:

A Spotting Scope
A Shooters Vest
A Box of Targets
A Hunting Jacket
A Rifle or Pistol Case
A Rifle or Pistol Scope
A Range Membership
A Universal Gun Cleaning Kit
Shooting Muffs (hearing protectors)
A Gift Certificate for gun related items
A Few or Several Rifle or Pistol Magazines
A New Holster (you maybe better off buying a gift certificate with a holster maker)
A Firearms Book (like The Standard Catalogue of Firearms - The Collectors' Price and Reference Guide (for 2010) or The Blue Book of Gun Values or a firearms manual or a book about firearms' history)

Now if you are feeling really generous, you could go for the gusto:

A Case Ammunition
A Complete Reloading Kit
A Life Membership with the NRA
A Paid For Training Course such as that offered by Front Sight
A Gift Certificate for the price of a new gun at your local gun shop

Now you all know what you can give me, especially those ones in red or green to your loved one if he or she is a shootist. Chances are that anything you get them along these lines will be appreciated. Heck, it took my wife about 13 or 14 years before she bought me something related to shooting - a gift certificate at a local gun shop which I used to buy a rifle. Oh no, wait a moment, she did buy me that fleece pullover about 8 or 9 years into our marriage, I am wearing it today - great quality item. I suppose it is sort of related to shooting since she told me to wear it when hunting. I said no way, she got insulted. The thing is though, it has an awfully close resemblance to some of the colors of a whitetail deer! Oh well, it is my favorite sweater and I still have it and love it even if she maybe had hoped it would shorten our marriage!

If you do go out shopping for firearms accessories and such, and if you are going to buy something like ammunition, a gun case, a scope, magazines or whatever - make sure you are getting them for the right gun in the right caliber or size. If you are not sure, well then, a gift certificate may be the way to go.

By the way, as I mentioned above you can shop at your local gun shop but if they are price gougers like the ones around me you may want to set your sights on alternate sources for firearms accessories. Some places you can try are online sources such as:,,, Natchez Shooters Supply, and the like. If you are more conventional and want to shop at a store other than a gun store, then try places like: Dick's Sporting Goods, The Sports Authority, Big 5 Sporting Goods, and Walmart or other stores that sell sporting goods.

All the best,
Glenn B

Ballseye's Gun Shots 42 - Twas The Night Before Christmas At Ballseye's House

I can only hope that Clement Clarke Moore (or was it really Henry Livingston) can forgive me my transgressions with A Visit From St. Nicholas (aka: The Night Before Christmas or Twas The Night Before Christmas):

Twas The Night Before Christmas
At Ballseye's House
aka: A Visit From A Balless Prick
or: Ballseye's Happy Holiday Hopes
For Mrs. Ballseye

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was unarmed, not even the mouse.
The 45s were slung on our hips with care,
In anticipation a burglar would soon be there.
The children were nestled snug in their beds,
With dreams of .22 rifles in their heads.
Mama with her Colt, and papa shotgun on my lap
Had just snuggled close after setting our trap,
When out in the backyard there arose such a clatter
I jumped to my feet to see what was the matter.
On went the night vision goggles in an eerie green flash
I peered out the window to see a thief holding a gun and cash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Lit up this armed interloper creeping so slow.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a half-track sleigh pulled by an armored John Deere,
With a heavily armed ex-cop, so lively and quick
I knew in a moment, it was my saintly neighbor Nick!
More rapid that comets his bullets they came
As he shot and shouted and called each by name
"Now, Crasher! now, Lancer! Now, Death Dancer and Vixen!
On, Stompit! on Shoot-it! on, Blunderbuss and Blitzen!
"From the bottom of his torso, to the top of his head...",
He shouted, "...we like em alive, but we'll take em dead"!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
Twin blued 38s were brought up, just under each eye,
And rat a tat tat, his bullets they flew
With flashes of fire, they all flew true.
When outside I joined the battle, I heard on the roof
An accomplice, who till then, had remained aloof.
As I brought up my shotgun while turning around
Down the chimney the crook went with nary a bound!
He was all dressed in black from his head to his foot
His clothes blended in with the chimney soot.
A bag of my neighbor's goods, he flung off his back
Nimbly dropping his loot while under attack!
His eyes how they widened, he did not look merry,
His cheeks they were pallid, no color of cherry.
No smile on his face, no Christmas ho-ho-ho,
The mask on his face had fallen down low.
The grip of a .380 pistol he held tight in his hand,
And as he landed on hearth, of my wife he made the demand:
Drop your gun to ground, and lay flat on your belly,
Or I'll shoot you dead and turn your brains to jelly."
He was dirty and nasty, undoubtedly no right jolly old elf
So I ran inside quickly, to protect family and self.
An evil look of his eye and a turn of his head,
Then gave me to know, I had everything to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And pointed his gun at me, oh what a jerk!
And when curving his finger astride of his trigger,
My wife showed him then, whose gun was bigger.
She sprang to her feet, her Colt reporting a bang
And immediately next, I 'd swear two bells rang.
Then I heard the crook exclaim, as he hobbled out of sight,
"She's shot me in my balls on this Christmas Eve night."

Of course, I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Chanukkah and a Happy New Year but should your holidays be interupted by a lowlife or two hoping to help themselves at your peril, here is hoping that you wind up the winner in any such encounter.

All the best,