Friday, August 30, 2013

Fruit of the Week - The Whatever Edition (I have lost count)

Me thinks, I missed the fruit of the week last week. Oh well, food poisoning and all and fruity alcoholic drinks do not mix well and I was about as food poisoned as one could get at the tail end of last week.

This week is a different story. I took about 3/4 a pint of blueberries, 1/4 pint of blackberries, a kiwi (peeled), two medium to large strawberries, two small plums, along with 4 ice cubes and blended well. Then, I added about 4 ounces of potato vodka. Once again, fruity goodness at is best and with a kick too.

All the best,

TSA Gave Me The Lousiest Pat Down I Have Ever Experienced...

...and my experience is based on me being the searcher, the searched or merely an observer over the course of literally thousands of pat downs throughout my career. Then again, I am not too sure I should call the TSA style of search a pat down if only because of how ludicrous it is to conduct one using the backs of the searchers hands.

When I flew back home from West Palm Beach last week, I opted for the hands on search as opposed to going through the x-ray scanner because I did not want to get more radiation that I absolutely had to get. Sadly, I forgot that on the way down to Florida until right after I stepped out of the scanner. I asked the TSA officer if there would have been an alternative. He said I could have been patted down. At least I remembered on the way back; after my radiation treatments about 2 years ago I am supposed to get as little exposure as possible to radiation.

As for the search, the TSA officer was very courteous and professional. He explained to me what would take place and that he would be touching 'private areas' with his gloved hands - that was he said with the back of his hands. Let me just say this, had I wanted to smuggle something as large as a Colt 1911 pistol, I might not have made it BUT had I tried to smuggle something say as large as a small derringer, wedged between the cheeks of my ass, I could have gotten away with it - there is no doubt in my mind. I also could have had any number of smaller sized items taped under my crotch behind my nuts, or even could have had another derringer there. Something the size and shape of a large banana, taped running from the top backside of my scrotum and running towards my butt hole would have gone absolutely undetected. There really is absolutely no doubt in my mind based on the pat down I got. That the most poorest application of the fundamentals of a proper pat down that I have ever experienced YET it was the most politically correct one I have ever experienced.

Mind you, this was not the fault of the TSA officer, I am sure he was following exacting protocol. This is the fault of mindless politicians and bumbling bureaucrats. We would not have TSA in the first place if not for them. Whether or not you think TSA worth it weight in gold or simply worthless - their style of search is pointless - except maybe when using that method to score political points among voters who are areshats.

If TSA is going to give pat downs, they really ought to give effective ones that truly give the officer a reasonable chance of actually finding something. Otherwise, just cut the show time crap and get rid of TSA - which would probably be the preferable course of action.

All the best,
Glenn B