Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Russians Are Coming...

...or have already arrived as can be witnessed by the arrests of several alleged Russian Spies Agents earlier this week right here in the good old U.S.A.. It is almost like the cold war never ended, well were any of really that naive to believe that it had ended just because the USSR fell and broke into smaller commie-like countries. Russia remains a major player as far as world powers go so shame on us if we were not on our toes for several years now. We probably have to worry about them more now, what with the deplorable conditions in the world's economy than we have had to for many a year now because not only does their economy such but so to does every one's - and that often has led to war.

Back to the alleged Russian spies agents; I think they are everywhere and that they have covers for themselves that you may find hard to believe. Then again I am a federal agent and I assure you they are sneaky bastards. Just yesterday, one of them, in a darned good disguise, tried to sneak into my very own home thinking that she would not be recognized for the Russian Spy that she is. No, I am not kidding. She was brought to my home by a friend who introduced her to me as Mr. something or other. Bear in mind now, I just said she was introduced as Mister something or other, I cannot remember the name probably because I knew it had to be bogus just as I knew he was a she. Those Russian and their steroids, still must be using them on their woman and while maybe not on their Olympic athletes then still on their spies. This babe was beefy for her kind and therefore probably easily mistaken for a male as opposed to a female. But I caught her, I am not a trained investigator for nothing. Of course, I did not tip my hand to her, I am not letting on to her that I know the real deal. A little bit of counter espionage is at work here, the least I can do for my country - don't ya think.

For now, this alleged Russian Spy Agent has been getting comfortable in my home, which is in fact her new home. She seems to have settled down pretty well in her first day here, is already enjoying the sunlamp, is eating our food, and has been lazing about and taking it easy on the futon in our finished basement. My wife and kids have not met her yet, she is playing herself up to be on the shy side but I am sure they will soon come to realize that this foreigner from the eastern-bloc has taken up residence in our home. As for me, I am making believe I like her to see what I can get out of her. She has been keeping pretty quiet though, probably trying to lull me into a feeling of complacency before she starts gathering information and sending it back to the Motherland. I'll keep an eye on her. Even though she does not look like she could make a fast get-away you can never trust these Russians they use great disguises, like trying to look just like a Russian Tortoise. So for now she is being kept under house arrest. If she behaves as she should and seems healthy enough, well then she will at least get some outside privileges in our back yard under natural sunlight with our other foreign spies tortoises.

All the best,
Glenn B