Thursday, May 5, 2011

A Dog-goned Surprise Awaited Me At Home This Evening

So, I walk in the side door to our house this evening, as usual. I head downstairs to strip off my pistol, holster, magazines and mag pouch, and other accoutrement's of my job. As I am doing so, I hear a voice, not of my house, say: "Is that Glenn?". I say nothing but take off my jacket and put it away. I wash up quickly at the sink in the back of the basement. I hear a lot of hemming, hawing and hooting upstairs. I hear children, girls. I surmise our neighbor, Trish and her daughters are here. go upstairs to say hello but not before having a fairly large vodka - neat. It has been a day for me and I actually need it.

I get upstairs and see my wife, Linda. I also see Trish and her two daughters. There are our four dogs: Pepe, Mimi, Lucy and Roxie. I also see Trish is holding what looks like a long haired kitten. I say hi, we start the small talk and someone says something about the puppy Trish is holding and how many dogs she and Gary (her husband) have and how many we have and Trish says: "But it's okay, I'll take care of it at my place". I am not quite sure why that was said but am a trained investigator, it immediately tells me one thing - Linda, my wife is responsible for the puppy being here. It seems our number has grown by one. Thank goodness for Potato Vodka and the fact I have had a stiff belt already.

I try to get a straight answer. No luck even though a few minutes pass. Suddenly the doorbell rings. I head to the side door then realize that two tones meant it was the front door - new doorbell and I am used to folks coming round to the side door but I turn toward the front. I was fooled but not for long. Two ladies come in the front door. One of them takes the puppy, which I now know is a Chihuahua, a very fluffy and furry one only weeks old. It is a mom and daughter, people my wife knows from her job at the dentist's office. Customers of the dentist who were looking for a home for the puppy for Heaven knows what reason (I know too but will not divulge).

The daughter cries and holds the puppy. Trish and my wife talk to them about it. The side door opens and my son comes in cursing merrily and being goofy about something, not knowing the situation. He sees the puppy and almost immediately figures what has happened and tells my wife, his mom, she is crazy. The puppy belongs to the daughter of the two ladies who just came in the front door. They are already taking care of two dogs and do not need a third. My wife volunteered as a rescue. Our neighbor Trish was here as support for the whole rescue thing, she got Linda into it awhile back. I am at my wits end but am nice to everyone and ask the girl, a lady in her young 20's, what is the puppy's story. Trish, holding an almost empty glass of wine, is shushing me. Brendan is silent mostly, he is a good kid. Trish’s two daughters are taking it all in. Linda is looking guilty because, she knows, I know, she was taking the puppy into our house and I think we do not need five dogs. It is a Chihuahua, did I mention that? Did I mention we already have two of those, plus two mutts.

The ladies leave the puppy with us. Linda and Trish talk about medicine it needs for Kennel Cough. I ask why do we have that dog here if it could get our four dogs sick. There is a brief conversation between myself, Brendan, Linda and Trish - a funny one at that but one I will not divulge - except to say I think someone threatened me and it was not Brendan or my wife. We all laugh. The front bell rings again. The ladies are back. They want the puppy back. They take it despite the best efforts of Trish, with no argument from my wife, to get them to leave it in my our house! Thank goodness they took it. Thank goodness Trish and her daughters leave despite my best efforts to keep Trish here so I can lambaste her, but the girls have got to hit the hay and I am sure Gary would like them all home, and I sure don't want her convincing Linda to try to get the puppy back. I am also sure, I would only get in trouble even if I was only jokingly butting heads with Trish over the puppy, Linda would take it wrong - or maybe not - but it did not happen so I will never know. I go back downstairs for a drink, yes I needed another. Brendan comes down for some vodka and I tell him where it is even though I am sure he knew but was only asking to be nice.

I go upstairs and try to engage my love, Linda, in a conversation about the puppy and its situation and as usual I fail. I do get enough out of her so that she admits it was better the ladies came back to retrieve the puppy. I can only hope they do not change their minds and bring it back because I told the love of my life it sort of would be okay for her to keep it if they did and that is what she really wanted. I laugh from the belly. Am I an asshole or what. Please do not answer that as I know the answer already. After all, about 25 years ago, I said: “I do”. Well, anyway, for now, we still have only 4 dogs, 5 tortoises, 1 turtle, 3 salamanders, 7 newts (or more), and a whole lot of fish. Hopefully we can keep it to that for a bit.

As for our neighbors, maybe we can have them over more often, that was fun.

All the best,
Glenn B