Saturday, June 22, 2019

It'S Been A Busy & Torturous Week

I've been getting ready for my move down south and that means getting ready for the house closing on Tuesday. It also means that I was working on the separation agreement for me and my wife but that was all to naught because now she has filed for divorce. Talk about being disheartened, there I was thinking we had quite the fair agreement but you should see what her lawyer is demanding. I figure, if I do not contest it, I will be trying to live on maybe 35% of the current income from my pension, I may qualify for WIC if that becomes my income. 

Among other things, if I understood correctly: we would have to split our assets supposedly in an equitable manner, I would have to purchase her health insurance totally on my dime, if she has medical bills unpaid by insurance then I would be responsible for them (and I am guessing that such potentially could wipe me out for life), I would have to splitting my income with her, I would also be required to maintain life insurance with her as the ONLY beneficiary (so in essence screw our children because I had already told her I would be switching it over to them instead of her), and life insurance policy I have now would increase by probably 25 to 50% in cost to me when I hit 65. (And you probably thought federal employee benefits were excellent and while somne are wonderful - it is certainly not so for FEGLI life insurance! Which by the way, I was about to change in 2011 to a private company's policy not long before my retirement - I had three or four policies from which I was about to choose - but was then diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. Oh well, I was stuck with what I had back then.)

After receiving the divorce paperwork, I offered my wife a substantial percentage more of the net proceeds from the sale of the house than she would otherwise have been getting but have received no reply from her nor from her lawyer. Well, that is except a text from the wife saying that her lawyer expects me to call her and expects me to supply tax and other documents - apparently to help them with their case. No reply by tomorrow on my offer and I will have to cancel the offer and hire an attorney myself. This could have gone so smoothly but to that all I can says is: 'Alas poor Yorick (in my case 'alas poor good, merry, happy, sad, difficult and even bad married times')! I knew him, dear readers.' 

Or maybe I should say it it all, as the great Bard said it centuries ago, and you can think of Yorick as me, or as any man, in a marriage that has died:

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rims at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?
Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let
her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must
come; make her laugh at that. "

Well anyway: All of this amazes me for some reason but you would think that after 32 years of dealing with attorneys throughout my career, and 33 years plus of being married to the same woman, I suppose I should have expected it. The funny thing is that what gets me the most is that the lawyer, for whatever reason, will not contact me directly and my wife will not give me the lawyer's email address so I can contact her in writing. I did send a text but got no reply. So, I tried to find out from my wife if the number she gave me for her attorney is a cell phone but as with other inquiries I have made of her, she has not replied. Go figure.

What looked as if it was going to be an amenable separation leading to divorce has turned into what promises to be only the first episode of a lifelong nightmare.

All the best,
Glenn B


"Zack" said...

Been there and done that circa 1992.

I interviewed two lawyers that said my wife's lawyer would win. I settled on a third lawyer that was supposed to be the best pro-husbands rights divorce lawyer in the state of Illinois. Expensive but worth it. Took over a year to settle the case ...

Hang in there. Give up all sentiment. It is now a (tough) business negotiation.

michigan doug said...

Yeah, you are gonna end up living in your car.
Go get a lawyer.

Brian said...

Sorry to hear of your divorce. Please get a lawyer ASAP In my former work place, everyone who said they were going to be amicable ended up in a knock down, dragged out fight over everything.

pigpen51 said...

Get a lawyer, and get one of the best that you can afford. It will be worth it in the long run. Myself and my ex got the same lawyer, thought we were doing it fairly, then, I found out that the lawyer I got, a female, screw me big time.