In three weeks, to the day, my daughter is getting married. She is at a friend and neighbor's house getting sloshed at her wedding shower. Mind you, she is not the sucker. The sucker will become my son-in-law. I don't mean that with any nastiness, not even a dram of it. I mean it as a fact, plain and simple. We men have been suckered into marriage as a life long contract for, I would guess, eons. Having been married for the past 27 years plus, I readily call myself a sucker. I sucked it in - hook, line and sinker.
Now, you ladies may think that my wife could consider herself in the same boat but let me explain before you get all presumptuous. I am not a sucker in as much as I was suckered into it but much more so in as much as, for some reason, I want to stay in it. Why? Because my wife is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Thus, even though, I can bitch and moan about things she does that do not please me (even things she does not really do and that I only imagine she does), I will gladly suck it all up, and more, to stay together with her. That is not just because it is cheaper to keep her; it is because, in my own twisted, possibly demented, and certainly convoluted way (like any other heterosexual married man), I need her, I depend on her and I love her very much. (Why is that??? - That is the question all normal men ask themselves!)
Yes, I am sure my future son-in-law will fit perfectly into that same category in relation to my daughter, even though he surely does not think it now - pre-wedding. Thus another sucker who thinks he is the master of the house bites the bait and is hooked hard and then reeled in by the true master - the woman in his life. He will learn, we all do (we men that is, who are straight and who get hooked)!
As for my daughter, I hope she enjoys the two bottles of Moet & Chandon I bought for her shower. I could have spent that money on a really good 15 year old. Watch what you are thinking, I meant a 15 year old bottle of single malt Irish Whiskey. Although, of course, being a sucker I figured it would please both her and the wife to give her the Champagne. That even though the wife is not partial Champagne since my daughter loves it. With any luck, it will make the wife a bit more partial toward an undeserving me because it makes our daughter happy and she was happy when I gave it to her just before the party commenced.
Man oh man, there is no hope for me. I am not just a sucker, I am pussy whipped. Now I am heading over to crash the party for a glass of the Champagne. Or maybe I would be better off here just sucking down the potato Vodka that I had to buy myself because the Champagne broke my budget.
All the best,
Glenn B
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