Today was not a good day for me. I am not going to go into why, nor will I complain about this little thing or that little thing even though there was a lot of that little pain in the arse stuff, for me, today. I have done that all too much throughout my life, that is complain about little things. In fact I have done it way too much. When a couple or a few little things build up, I often break down or rant and rave and make stuff worse by not helping make them better, then still have to try to fix things up. It does not help that I alienate folks (mostly family) by getting angry over small stuff to nothing. I can tell you, when they say "don't sweat the small stuff", they are right. It's just been really hard for me not to be bothered by all the minutiae at home. I guess my upbringing had a lot to do with it, I never learned any other way. No excuses, just reasoning as to why it happens. Anyway, I have improved much over the past few years. Still far from perfect in that regard but I have been getting better.
Then there is the big stuff; when it comes to the big stuff, well, I am usually much better able to handle it. For some reason it usually does not get me all bent out of shape or send me into a yelling and blaming tantrum when things go really bad. I just usually do what needs to be done when faced with bigger problems. I think today was a pretty good indication of that for myself but as I said, other than to say that today really sucked, I will not go into it in more detail. The only other thing I can say is that I hope I keep improving with the way I handle the little things and hope I keep on handling the big stuff, the same way I handled my day today. It's just better for everyone involved.
By the way, even though today sucked for me, I have to admit that I was lucky in a couple of ways because some things really fell into place for me. Not enough to counterbalance the crappy stuff but enough to put a smile on my face a couple of times today and one of those things was very important for me and my family. Just because you have a bad day is no reason to disregard the good that came along on that same day; heck, maybe it is more reason to look for the good or for ways to make things better. Despite having a bad day, I did manage to make something better for my family today and I guess that was the most important aspect of the day for me. Maybe, after all, today did not suck as bad as I was thinking it did - nah really it did but I was lucky there was something good about it too.
All the best,
Glenn B
2 comments:
I know just what you are talking about. As I have gotten older I have chilled out a great deal more than when I was younger. I like how much calmer life is now. Good for you to be cognizant of this.
So I do not forget, let me add it now - this was the day I found out I had cancer. You will see hints about it over the next week or two of blogging. I did not want to come right out and tell anyone on the Internet because I had to hold off on telling my family. My aunt was dying from cancer and I did not need to double the grief for my uncle. My daughter and her boyfriend were about to get engaged (a secret to her but the rest of us knew and I certainly did not want to ruin that for anyone, not the secret or surprise for Celina and also not the effort of Phil as he had worked and planned so hard for it). You can also see, on my blog, I took my son fishing too, not long after this miserable day, why ruin his whole summer! I finally told everyone, well my immediate family, I guess a week and a half or so after the engagement party. It was tough. Now it is about 6 1/2 months later. The docs say I look good but the test is the PET scan on March 5th. Then scans every few months for at least a couple of years. I can only hope they got it.
All the best,
GB
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