Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Cancer Sucks

I recently lost my favorite aunt to cancer. She lived through 11 years of it, and I guess really suffered the past couple to few years but she was a bright burning flame throughout. She did not go quietly into that dark night - not at all. She was a fighter.

My brother-in-law also recently lost his wife/sweetheart to cancer. She suffered too long even though she did not have it anywhere nearly as long as did my aunt. Different types of cancer do you differently but all types suck.

I lost my father to cancer about a year and a half ago; well actually I lost him when I was 8 or 9 - he was a useless sack of shit and a father of little if any worth and left us back then. Still, he suffered from it badly - he had prostate cancer that spread and did him in. Looked more like a sorry assed zombie than a man when I saw him at the hospice, it sucked the life right out of him. At least he told me he was sorry.

I also lost a friend last year - a guy at work. More of a friend to me than either of us had imagined. I miss him dearly even though we knew each other from work and that was it but we were buddies nonetheless. Well really, he died of heart failure in his sleep. It seemed he had the cancer beat but sometimes the cure is worse than the disease and my guess is he died of heart failure not only due to his heart condition and diabetes but because the cancer surgery, radiation and chemo wore him down. He was pretty snarky when it came to bullshit from bosses, and he was that way right up till the last time I saw him. Bosses feared him - the rest of us liked him a lot. My guess is that even some of the bosses really liked him a lot they just couldn't figure him - he kept them guessing and he shoved their own shit in their faces when and if they were assholes, of course, some bosses loathed him just as they hated the truth that they were incompetent. Yep, the incompetent bosses could not stand him. Mark my word on that! He was a good man and a good friend.

Me, I miss them all. Cancer sucks. It not only fucks up those who have it but also they who know those who have it. Thank goodness for doctors, nurses, medical technicians, pharmacists, scientists, researchers, fund raisers, those who donate and all the like who sometimes help to cure it.

Yep, cancer sucks. Then again, life goes on, at least until you die - its just a matter of how and when - mostly when. Of course, life goes on for others folks even after you die, even when cancer has sucked much of the life out of them either because they had it and beat it or because someone they loved had it and lost to it. Cancer does have an antithesis though, it is called life! Life goes on, living life is cancer's cancer! And you know what, if you have lived a good life it probably does not mater if the cancer wins. After all - as I said above - we all die; it is just a mater of how and when but mosly a matter of when.

All the best,
Glenn B


Humble wife said...

Life is cancer's cancer. I had never thought of it that way before, but you are right Glenn.

My closest bestest friend/cousin died of non Hodgkin lymphoma. I hate that I know that word. I hate it so much. Vickie was 37(I was 34) and she left three incredible girls behind as well as a wonderful husband five brothers a mom and dad. No parent should have to bury a child before them-never.

I miss her so much...all this time later.

Cancer sucks.
Yep we all are going to die. So what are we doing while we are here? Living or sucking when we already established what really sucks.

I am sorry Glenn, your post made me cry. I can't believe how emotional I have been of late.

Take care and thanks for writing this post.


Humble wife said...

Glenn I came back because of your post and to share I wrote about your post and my cousin Vicki.

I needed these words today.

Thanks my NY friend.

Dan said...

I'm with you, man. I wish cancer were a person, so I could use its sack like a speed bag.