Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Kissing A Sexy Woman or Being Peed on By A Toad...

...which would you choose. Well last night let's just say I made the wiser choice and got wet. I went out toad hunting in the first real Monsoon Rains of the season for southern Arizona. It happened like this:

Sometime in the late afternoon yesterday I was sitting where I sit now in the hotel business center; I was minding my own business and was downloading some pics from my camera to my thumb drive when a hotel manager stopped by to chat. She told me about a concert this weekend (Independence day already!) here in Tucson. When she left, she left the business center door ajar. A short while later another woman, this one in a black business suit (a business suit indeed as you will soon see) came over to the center door and knocked (it requires key card entry). I went to let her in as many guests forget their key card or the cards just don't work but before I could open the door she had it open because it had been left ajar by the manager. She came in and sat at the other computer back over my right shoulder.

This lady was probably about 40 to 45. She was wearing a black business suit that was short in the skirt and had quite the set of attractive legs. Soon after she sat down, a man in business attire entered the business center and asked for her signature on a piece of paper he had on a clipboard. She signed it. I figured she was a business lady of some importance if men in business attire were tracking her down for her signature. Soon after, she started to talk to me and two things became quickly apparent - she was hitting up on me, and she was doing it big time. It was kind of flatterring at first and there was some temptation indeed - I mean those legs were killers (probably in more ways than just looks too). Well - it was awhile longer but I figured out that while she was probably in business she was not a business lady as I had first imagined. She was probably in business though, a very old business at that - not that it really mattered either way. After a bit I left for my room. Sometime later I returned to work on the computer but she was still there. She saw me and I decided to make it plain I was not interested - just in case she had thought I had been or in case I thought I had been.

Later on, after I stopped by and enjoyed happy hour for a juice and a small snack (no frogs' legs available), I returned to my room and as doing so guess who I saw in the hallway. She was sort of lost from the looks of things. Something else now also became apparent - she was zonked on something. This should have been apparent earlier, I suppose I had thought she was high but never realized that she was soaring far, far, far out there beyond the clouds. As for me, this only meant that temptation was closer to home so to speak - so I went to my room, grabbed my gear, and went out. Where did I go, where else but to go for a drive in the rain and to look for some toads. I figured I would be better off catching some toads (and maybe getting pissed on in the doing) than I would be to catch some crabs or something worse Did I mention there had been legs involved? No not crab legs but there had been something to do with legs. No not frogs' legs either; yet, somehow and strangely enough, toad legs the uglier cousins of frogs' legs won out.

As it turned out, I went for a drive in the countryside south east and southwest of Tucson. I traveled the main highway south to the Madera Canyon area, and that is where I veered off onto some secondary roads. It was a bit different than previous rides out and about on this trip because the Monsoon rains had begun that same night. Earlier in the evening rains had fallen, but now it was a bit of drizzle here, none there, then more further on. There were small puddles and wet spots here and there and the desert air had an unusual dampness and fresh aroma to it. It was magnificent to me, and also apparently magnificent for my quarry as puddles meant breeding pools. In the span of just a mile or so I probably saw at least 25 live Sonora Desert Toads (aka: The Colorado River Toad - but there was no river nearby where I found them). While more rain probably would be needed to form suitable breeding puddles the toads were out nonetheless, and the ones in this area were mostly mature toads indeed. Bufo alvarius (their scientific name) is the largest toad in North America. Some of the ones I found had to easily be as large around as my hand and pretty fat at that, but remarkably they all had pretty scrawny legs - what a trade off but the better deal by far. I got some good pics and moved on.

The second area I hit was somewhat further south and was west of the Interstate. I was pretty amazed at the amount of toads I saw on the two roads I took after the one at the Madera Canyon area. In about 50 miles of driving (I drove a longer distance but actually only looked for toads in about the mentioned distance) I counted over 350 toads. Now you may not think that 350 was all that many for that far of a distance, but you need to realize that they are not everywhere along that route but rather in areas of suitable habitat such as where water pools after the summer rains. I will admit that on these last two roads the habitat was much more suitable than over near Madera Canyon and it seems the toads would agree with me on that judging by their numbers. of course it had also rained somewhat more in this area and the roads were still pretty wet in most areas when I got there, much wetter than the road near the aforementioned canyon.

So what did I see? Well mostly Sonora Desert Toads from the size of a half dollar around to ones as big as my hand around. Others that I spotted were possibly:

Western Spadefoot Toad (Scaphiopus hammondi), Southwestern Toad (Bufo woodhousei australis) [Note: this is not the Southwestern Toad with scientific name: Bufo microscaphus], Plains Spadefoot (Scaphiopus bombifrons) [I am not all to positive on my ID of one toad I saw as this species but think it was this one], Red Spotted Toad (Bufo punctatus)

I did not get good pics of all of them since the camera I was using does jot always focus so well at night on a rain slicked road in the beam of my flashlight or LED headlamp. I did get great pics of some of them though, and some of those pics appear here for your perusal. Please note, while it is obvious that I saw most of these toads on roadways it may not be so obvious that I take lots of precautions not to become a roadkill statistic or to make myself a hazard for other drivers while I am out and about looking for toads. I choose only very lightly traveled roads ( at least at the times I am there), I park my car well off on the shoulder or even beyond the shoulder of the road when I get out to take pics. I make sure to shut off the headlights on the car when I get out and place on the emergency flashers or appropriate side directional signal (I do not want other drivers who may come along to think that my car is on the road when it is actually parked on the shoulder so off go the headlights). I make sure to have a headlamp (the LED type that straps around your head) and a hand held flashlight, I want to be lit up and those lights go on before I leave the car and are shut off only after I climb back inside the car. I am alert for not only the sight of approaching cars, but also for the sound of approaching cars. i do not get out if I first see any cars approaching nearby (and by that I mean within a mile or more - better to wait and let them pass by). I do not pull over right where the toads are located in most instances because most of the time they are in low points such as washes, and I do not care to have my car washed away in a flash flood. If I walk through a low point such as a place where a wash crosses the road, I keep alert for the sound of approaching water and if I even think I hear it I run to high ground; along those lines I have been fooled a few times by the wind but better foolishly dry and alive than wet and just dead.

Another thing I do, not so much as a precaution, more as a legal thing is to make sure i have the proper license to do what I am doing. A fishing license is require din Arizona to collect hunt or amphibians. I have purchased an Arizona non-resident fishing license about 2 months or more ago. I got the one that is good for 4 months; it was a real bargain compared to the one good for only a few days. I like to keep it legal because I am an ethical hunter and fisherman. In addition I am pretty sure that the cost of a fine for poaching would be much higher than the cost of a license just as the cost of sexy legs as compared to that of scrawny toad legs (and toad pee - yes a few whizzed on me when I picked them up to check them out) would not have been worth the risk involved. Besides all that, my wife is kind of used to me playing with toads and other critters and she might even let me kiss a toad if I wanted to do so (which I do not) but when it comes to other women I do not think she would be as tolerant.

All the best,
Glenn B


Humble wife said...

You are most definitely an author and need to publish a memoir of your career and the events along the way because you are one good story teller.

I am still chuckling!

I had no idea about the toads although during monsoon season the noise they make is deafing. The other night we had so many swimming in the flooding that my daughter refused to step off the porch!

I was pretty impressed because they are not rattlesnakes so things are good for me!

Have a great 4th of July!

Glenn Bartley said...

Thanks. Enjoy your 4th too.

Anonymous said...

You have been in the sun to long!!!

Glenn Bartley said...

Yep I have been in the sun too long but I'll be back in NY by the end of July if all goes as planned.