There it was, a very intriguing headline on FoxNews.com:
Baby soap residue causing false positives in marijuana tests
Before reading the brief article under that headline, I jumped to the conclusion that someone using that soap had a false positive on their drug test at work or something like that. Well, was I ever so wrong.
As I read on though, I soon realized that it was apparent the drug testing had nothing to do with employment drug screening, it did not even have anything to do with adults, not with working teens either. Actually, I figured all of that out as soon as I read the first line of the piece:
"A shocking number of babies are testing positive for marijuana use."
Maybe someone, in the medical profession saw this video and thought babies needed to be tested to protect them from the evil weed figuring here is proof of what they always suspected, that babies do indeed smoke pot:
All kidding aside, as per the report, the drug tests for marijuana were done on babies and it appears is still being done by hospitals. It seems that the method of collection of the sample got contaminated by the little bundles of joy who had been washed with a certain type of baby soap. That was the article in a nutshell. I am so happy that the babies positive tests for marijuana were false positives. My goodness, just think of the implications - a nation of pot head toddlers going on a munchies seeking rampage. Every breast in the nation would not be safe!
Hey, wait a bud pickin' minute here. While the article told us about babies being tested, about the test itself, about the contamination coming by way of tainted samples due to collection methodology, that the contaminant was soap, it failed to mention something very important. You would think a reporter who was even worth half his pay would have thought to ask, and then reported on the answer to, this question:
Why are babies being tested for marijuana use in the first place?
Once the answer to that question is given, I could see the potential for asking lots of others, such as: How many babies have been tested (it seems like it must have been a large number to have a "...shocking number..." of them test positive? Does some arsehat in the medical profession believe that there is a marijuana usage problem among infants? Does some politician believe that government grants (just guessing this is funded by taxpayer dollars) should be doled out for a knucklehead project like this. If the babies test positive for marijuana, are they incarcerated? Are the children removed from their homes and put into protective custody if they test positive? Are the parents charged with a crime if the babies test positive? Will their cases be reviewed now that it has been discovered that false positives may be to blame? Is there any reasonable and logical explanation for testing infants for marijuana? When no one can come up with a valid reason for this program, will it be shut down and will the funding set aside for it go to something practical where it is truly needed? Is anyone involved in this project actually from planet earth and not Uranus? (Yes, I asked if they are from yours because they certainly did not escape from mine.)
Want to see the article, then click on this link: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/06/21/baby-soap-residue-causing-false-positives-in-marijuana-tests/?intcmp=obnetwork#ixzz1yupnn3Y6
Just unfriggin' believable no matter what they say is the reason. We truly are living in Bizarro World.
All the best,