I'm Grateful Its Not A Polar Bear Hunt...

...because if Brendan and I were about to depart on a polar bear hunt, instead of a black bear hunt, I guess I would just have to call it off after having heard the latest dismal news about polar bears. I mean, even I am not that into hunting that much so as to be heartless enough to go out and hunt a species that is going through all the problems that polar bears seem to be facing lately.

First of all they have it pretty rough up there north of the Arctic Circle with Eskimos hunting them, and because it is about as cold as it gets on this earth much of the time. Yet, now that they have evolved to get used to that extreme bitter cold, what happens - global warming - or so Al Gore would have us believe (and after his recollection of his dad singing him that Union Ditty as a lullaby years before it was even written - I don't know how much I believe anything he says). Then as if Global Warming and all that super insulating fur was not enough to screw the polar bears over, what else could happen to mess up their chances of survival?

Well, I'll tell you what else could happen, if only because I read it at FoxNews.com @

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,210444,00.html

Here is a tiny bit of what they had to say at Fox:

The polar ice cap may not be the only thing shrinking in the Arctic. The genitals of polar bears in eastern Greenland are apparently dwindling in size due to industrial pollutants, a new
study finds.

That has got to be, shall I say - uncomfortable! Besides the obvious discomfort in that, can you imagine they just might freeze and fall off! As you probably remember from physics class, now that I remind you, smaller things lose heat faster. Egads man could you imagine that predicament - double ouch and turning blue and falling off at that. That is unless of course Al Gore is right about Global Warming; in which case shrinking testicles might not be a bad thing because they would not get all that sweaty if they were smaller since they would retain less heat.

Of course, as it stands now, scientists are worried that this shrinkage factor (thank you George Kastanza of Seinfeld fame) will effect their love making abilities. I wonder, is this because it will have the girl polar bears laughing at the guys with the really tiny balls? My guess is, if a guy polar bear was lucky enough to have been super sized before this all started, he would be normal sized after being effected by the pollutants in question, and therefore none the worse for the wear. The girls would not be laughing at him, would they?

Who was it that taught us about natural selection and the survival of the fittest, was it Darwin? I guess time will tell if he was right, at least in regard to polar bears. All kidding aside: I, for one, hope that there are a large number of survivalist polar bears out there which will make it through this latest set of problems, if these problems really exist at all. They have always been one of my favorite animals; and the planet truly would be at a great loss without them. They are magnificent beasts.

All the best,
Glenn B