Thursday, June 22, 2017

Today Has Been A Good Day But Yesterday Was Excellent

I have had a nice day so far today. Went to the credit union to cash a windfall check and now have money for the weekend with a decent amount left over to help pay bills. To give my wife a break, I took my grandson for a walk, about two and a half or three miles and we also stopped at the playground for some fun time there. After that, I replaced the butt stock on one of my Remington 870s with a police folding stock I have had for decades. I was only able to do that because the screw I ordered for it arrived today and it fit. Oh happy days. Checked my blood pressure after that and it was 178/82, I was ecstatic. My new BP med must be working. I also just found out, I am getting the holiday pay I should have gotten for Memorial Day, it was somehow overlooked in my last paycheck. More money for the weekend and to pay bills.

Yesterday though was a truly excellent day. I  received that check that I wound up cashing today. That was nice, the check arrived sooner than expected. That of course is not what made the day excellent. My son knows why. He is the only person besides my wife and two close friends in whom I had confided that I found a lump in my neck. In fact, I had told him the moment I found the lump, that was weeks ago when I was visiting him in Arkansas. Did not really mean to do it just blurted it out when I found it. Sorry my boy to put you through weeks or a month of anxiety to find out if it was cancer again or not. That brings me to why yesterday was such an excellent day, I got the PET Scan results yesterday. Brendan is the first one I contacted about the results and he was quite happy to hear the result and there is no way I can tell him how much I appreciate his concern for his old man.

Yes, of course you can figure the results were excellent. All was good, I am clear - no sign of cancer having returned. To tell you the truth, I do not know if I could have faced off against that demon a second time, it was that bad the first time. To my son and my two friends, thanks for worrying about me and I was very happy to tell you I am okay. No I did not include the wife there just now, she had told me it was nothing. So, I have to admit she was right and say thanks for that. I also have to say special thanks to her for caring too because even though she tried to make it seem worry free, I know she was concerned for me as much as she says she cannot stand me. I know that because the first time around, she was there for me.

You may also have realized, I did not tell my daughter nor son-in-law. Celina and Phil just got married a second time, this time in a Catholic church because Ryan John (their son and my grandson) is going to be Christened this coming Sunday. Why should I have worried them; in fact had the test results been bad, I would not have even told them then. This is their time to be happy at a special time for their first born. Why would I want to have ruined that. I thank them for bringing that little bundle of joy into my life.

I also have to thank my online friend Jen and her family. I recently asked her to do me a favor - that she and her family pray for me but I did not tell her why. I did not want prayers expecting prayer to change what the scan results would be - I knew I either had cancer again or not. I wanted and needed prayers because I did not know how I would react if I got bad news again. Really, as I said above, I do not know if I could face up to that demon cancer again and the battle that would ensue to defeat it - fighting stage 4 cancer really was that bad the first time. So, I wanted prayers to help me through it should I find out the worst. Jen and her family, and her online friends around the world, made a lot of difference the first time around. She had people around the globe praying for me, lighting candles for me, sending me well wishes - me who is an agnostic at best and those prayers helped give me the boost I needed to fight hard enough and long enough to beat down the demon cancer. You cannot imagine how much help a stranger can be until someone like she steps into the fray. I am not sure I believe in God, an Almighty Being, Mother Nature or The Force if you will, but I do believe in good and evil and I do believe in demons . Stage 4 cancer is one of the worst forms of evil. As for good personified, you can find it in Jen and her family - they are amazingly nice and caring folks and while we have never met face to face I consider them dear friends. They are the good that can overcome evil, they are among my guardian angels just like my family is to me.

Yesterday I realized something again that I have not thought about in awhile. That terrible battle I waged against the cancer - by sticking with all the treatments and never giving up despite the chemo doc telling me it would be the hardest thing I have ever or will ever do in my life - that battle was worth it. Heck, I am still here surrounded by loving family and friends and good folks like Jen and her family. That my friends has made it all worthwhile.

I wonder, did yesterday being that excellent have anything to do with it being the last day (or last 24 minutes) of Spring and the first day of Summer - the Summer Solstice. Maybe that had something to do with it too, maybe there was some of Mother Nature's magic in the mix, or the Force being there for me or God blessing me with grace (although I cannot imagine why). Whatever, it was just excellent for me. I know now that I have the chance to see my son again and to go fishing with him and tell him I love him, to see and enjoy my grandson growing older and share good times with him, to enjoy watching my daughter and son-in-law as young first time parents and give them grandfatherly tips from grumpus (me), and to live life a little longer with the woman I married much to her chagrin ;>).

All the best,
Glenn B

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