Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Apparently Doing His Part To Help End Global Warming...

...a man, reportedly armed with a "long rifle", was alleged by a 911 caller to have been hanging out of a moving vehicle's rear right window on the Florida Turnpike as he was shooting at cows (those evil producers of methane gas that we all know is one of the major cause of global warming). Police were able to find the vehicle and the man who was a passenger in it. They also found his AR15 in the car. The driver of the vehicle said had stopped so his passenger Elvis Antonio Artola could answer the call of nature and while stopped, Artola started shooting into the woods.The driver said he did not know if Artola was just shooting into the woods or at the cows. He also said he did not want to snitch on his friend. More here.

Make sure to listen to the recording of the 911 call at the bottom of the article and to the long pause after the guy tells the 911 operator what he was reporting and where it took place. It seems the 911 operator was at a loss for words there for a bit and who can blame him. Just when you had thought you had heard and seen everything you get a call about a psycho shooting cows from a moooooooooooving vehicle.

The report did not mention if he actually shot any cows. So, I don't know about you, but regardless of how hard he may have been trying to do his part to terminate a few causes of global warming (or get a free steak dinner), I think this guy actually could have sped up climate change. I mean, those cows almost certainly left behind large piles of manure and steamy clouds of methane gas as they were scared shitless and running for their lives.

All the best,
Glenn B

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