Thursday, May 7, 2015

The Most Hated Man On My Block Could Become Me

My neighbors may be about to hate me and so too my family if we don't get a good day or three of soaking rain soon. I tend to think it will be that I wind up the most hated man on my block this spring since rain is not forecast until Tuesday. Even then, they promise only a 50% chance of it. I guess that means I will be watering the backyard frequently over the next few to several days and quite possibly will throw more lime on it as I did just a few minutes ago because man oh man does it smell like shit back there. We had a bag of chicken shit fertilizer out back and it was left out for a year or more. Well, today, when cleaning up some back there, I grabbed the bag and out tore and fell all of the chicken poop that had looked like small pellets or granules once upon a time. Today it was no more than a rotten, rancid, putrid, smelly, foul, odiferous pile of sludge - about 10 to 15 pounds of it.

Calling it "no more" than anything though is a gross under statement. It truly will wind up stinking all the way up to high heaven and that means there is a strong chance of it wafting through and odorizing all the yards, houses and noses anywhere in the near vicinity depending on which way the wind blows it. Right after it happened, I wondered: 'what can I do with that pile of malicious muck'. I figured I could dump it in a trash bag and leave it for the sanitation men. Then I thought better of that because I also figured out that they probably do not appreciate collecting sacks full of fetid feces along their route. Anyway,  I thought it might be a potential health hazard in that high of a concentration.

So, I did the best thing I could think of, I tossed shovels loads of it around my yard under several bushes. Then I hosed it down really well with lots and lots of water to spread it and to let it seep into the soil and dissipate. Then I threw some lime over the places where I had just piled and spread out the disgusting dung and then watered it well once again.

I am thinking that my method of 'stink-be-gone' will have worked within a couple to few days at most. So, I am hopeful that, none too soon, most of the aroma will have wafted itself away to nothingness and my yard will again be scented more like heaven than like hell. As for spreading it around in the yard, to dispose of it, what else should, or could, I have done with it? I mean, it is fertilizer, after all, isn't it! With any luck, I will not have fertilized my bushes to death.

All the best,
Glenn B

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