Well, I have been Oxycodone free for just over one week! Last Saturday, February 4, 2012, was the first day that I did not use that crap in about at least a 3 maybe 4 month period! It was pretty easy to wean myself off of it and truthfully I do not see how others become so easily addicted to it, that is unless maybe they are taking relatively more of it than was I for whatever is the reason they are taking it. I took just enough to sort of get the edge off of the pain. The doctor and some of the nurses told me, several times, to increase the amount I was taking to the point where there was no pain but I just could not bring myself to that point. Not that I like pain, not that I do not like feeling good, it is just I do not ant to feel "good" every day because of a pill. Had I gotten to the point where there was no pain after taking those pills, I might have also reached the point where the Oxycodone actually made me feel good or high, I have taken a prescribed drug before where it had that effect but that was for a very short time after a surgery. The feeling was wonderful, not only was the pain gone but I felt as if I did not have a care in the world and as if I was floating through paradise. Had I allowed myself to get that way, everyday, or even just pain free everyday, for a period of 3 to 4 months, well I guess it would have been a lot more difficult to quit the Oxycodone that it was for me.
At one point, was taking up to about 16 pills a day of it. Had I tried to quit cold turkey at that point, I guess it would have been very difficult but as the pain lessened over time, I decreased the amount I was taking. I always felt the pain, but the amount of Oxycodone I took just was enough to take the edge off. One of the nurses, only one mind you, who had asked me about the pain and how much Oxycodone I was taking,, actually listened to and understood me when I said I did not want to take too much of it. She, like all the other nurses and docs had told me to take enough to get rid of the pain but I told her I was afraid that would be just too much. I explained that even when at 16 tablets a day, the pain was excruciating at times, especially when I was eating - swallowing was truly pain to the extreme, but I did not want to wind up having to depend on a narcotic. When I told her how many I took, she asked or said: You're taking just enough to take the edge off". She was ever so right. Of course, the pain was often well under control such as when I was not swallowing. There was pain but not nearly as bad as when I ate or drank something. After awhile, it started to subside and as it did I took less and less of the medication. This was over many weeks but as the pain slowly left me, so too did the need for the drug. Then, when the pain was almost nonexistent, I told the docs I wanted to get off it and they simply told me to do it slowly. They did not give an exact time frame, heck at that point they did not give any time frame, but I recalled the radiation doc, months before, saying it should take 2 or 3 weeks to do it. I did it in about a week and a half or two weeks. It was a hell of a lot easier than quitting smoking.
So now I will celebrate as I did last week. On Super Bowl Sunday I had a Spaten! Man that is one good beer but sadly my taste buds are not what they had been before the radiation and it was a bit of a let down for me after having waited well over 5 or 6 months for a cold one. I will have another today though because today everything has tasted better already today. The wife made bacon, scrambled eggs and truly delectable blueberry pancakes for breakfast today. I smothered those heavenly discs with pure maple syrup, a gift from the gods for sure, and truly enjoyed every mouthful as I washed it all down with a good strong cuppa Joe!
So, I think that a bit later today, when I crack open a cold one, it is going to taste a whole lot better than the one I had last week. I almost cannot wait but I will wait because I have to drive someplace early this afternoon and will wait till I get home after that. Then I will have one, maybe two but not more than that for now. I want to take it easy and I am pretty sure that 2 will be enough to take the edge off. What edge - who cares, but you can safely bet that after 6 months of living with the bullshit associated with cancer, there certainly are at least a few very ragged edges that need smoothing down!
All the best,
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