...has decided that I had best start doing things more than just moping around my house each day and maybe going for the occasional walk with one of our dogs or taking a short walk to a local store every now and then, like maybe weekly. Now that I have retired, and with the cancer shit going on, it seems that perhaps I have fallen into a rut. Being in that rut is not good. I have not been sleeping well at night, been sleeping too much during the day, have been feeling sorry for myself, and just have not been as active as I should be. Of course, what with recently having gone through both radiation and chemo treatments and still suffering the ravaging effects of both, I still need a lot of rest. So my radiation oncologist told me last time I saw him. He said I should rest and really be very prudent about the amount of any exercise I do. On the other hand, the last time I saw my chemo oncologist, a couple of weeks before I saw the rad guy, the chemo doc told me that walking up to 3 miles a day would do me good. Seems like they are not talking to one another and giving me conflicting instructions. Oh well, I last saw the radiation guy about 4 weeks ago, or was it 3 or maybe 2; - I will be damned if I remember right now.
So, anyway, I have decided that I have to get out and about more than I have been doing regardless of any conflict between what the doctors say. I am still taking it easy, I am still resting a lot, but I am also getting out more or have been over the past few days. I am not killing myself by walking too much. Yesterday I took the car to the bank and then to the pharmacy. I actually was alert enough, awake enough, to drive. Last week and the couple of weeks before, most days, I would not have chanced driving because I was too fatigued. Getting out a bit recently has helped eliminate the fatigue and that is a good thing. This afternoon, into the evening, I went out again. This time, I did something I have not done in the 17 years or so that we live at our current location. I hopped on a county bus to go to Petco and Staples. Before catching the bus, I walked to the 2nd bus stop away from my home. I figure I walked about 3/4 of a mile to that bus stop. Not much but an awful big improvement for me. Then I took the bus home and got off the stop closest to my house. At least another 1/4 mile walk to my front door and I stopped at a very local, mom and pop pet shop along the way. Certainly no marathon but again, something good for me. It makes me feel alive to have done it and that has got to be better than moping and feeling sorry for myself while in a rut.
Tomorrow, I plan to take another bus ride. If I scoped out the bus maps correctly, one bus goes right by the local indoor range at which I often used to shoot. If that is truly the case, I will be taking that bus with rifle case in the near future. First I will go on a ride on that bus too make sure it will drop me off close enough to the range to make it practical for me to bring along a rifle and other shooting gear. It would be nice to be able to get to the range on my own whenever the urge arises. The family cars are not an option most of the week because they are needed to drive back and forth to work for my wife and son. So, public transport will have to do. I may scope out this bus line tomorrow, or I may take a different bus down to where my brother lives. I would have to arrange for my sister in law to pick me up at the bus station but that probably would be no problem. Decisions, decisions - which one to take for a ride!
Oh well, whatever I decide upon, I think it will be good for me to stay out of my rut. It was actually a very exhilarating experience for me this evening. Imagine that - a bus ride trip to Petco and Staples, then a bus ride back toward home, then a stop in a mom and pop local pet shop, all being called exhilarating! What a difference from what I have been doing as of late, I was boring myself into mopery. I only hope I can keep it up and keep myself on the move and in the groove, it makes me feel alive again.
All the best,
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