Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Other Side Of Ballseye...

...well maybe not really the other side, just a thing about me that I usually don't talk about. Today I played the happy homemaker the not so happy house-cleaner. About once a year now, for the past few years, I have given the carpets in our living room and basement a good cleaning with a rented carpet cleaning machine. The main reason this came about was because of our dogs and their inability to be housebroken 100% (or would that be the dog owner's fault, in which case I tip my hat to my wife - her dogs - not mine). I am not going to place any blame, I'll just say man a carpet sure can look like crap (and it is actually the wee that makes it look disgusting). Yet, without placing culpability for our messy carpets, especially the one in the living room, I have to wonder what on earth ever made my wife decide to go out and get another mutt while I was away for work in Arizona this spring/summer. Did she go for a medium sized mutt like our Mimi (who is perfectly housebroken) - no she did not! Did she go for another psycho Chihuahua like our little Pepe (after Pepe Le Pew - of course) or a more demure yet sometimes psycho pooch like our little Lucy, our other Chihuahua - no she did not.

What she went for was this, a medium sized puppy that was a fawn and brindle, cuddly, loving, licking (a lot), scrappy ball of fire that is now weighing in at about 53 pounds at 8 months of age. She is full of love, and full of energy, and also full of water - or so it would seem she was until she was housebroken. Wait a minute, allow me to correct myself. Yes, she was full of water, but never for all that long. As it turned out, or should I say as it poured out, it often did so all over the living room, dining room and kitchen. Should someone have thought about this before buying a canine fireplug? Sure she should have thought of it. Did she think of it? No she did not and if she did she did not care about the mess that would ensue. Now mind what you are thinking right about now. Of course we cleaned it each time she had an accident. We used rolls and rolls of paper towels, bottles and bottles of pet accident spray too. You know the stuff if you own a puppy; it is supposed to make the stains disappear like magic.. It all FM though; that would be fucked-up magic because it did not work very well. On the carpet in the basement I could do a cleaning job and make it look like almost nothing had happened. The carpet in the living room being much lighter was a totally different story and it stained with rings around where the puddle had been and that area stained too, just lighter than the rings. It was pretty disgusting.

Now that the wonder dog, who could do no wrong in my wife's eyes no matter how much she wee'd in the house, is finally housebroken the best of all except Mimi, we are left with only Lucy or Pepe doing there thing now and then. Thankfully that is a drop in the bucket compared to what Roxie could let loose. Roxie, that's the big one's name, did I forget to mention that earlier. Well being that they are all mostly housebroken, I decided to clean the carpet. Why my darling dear sweetheart never kept them locked in the crates she has for them, or left them locked in the kitchen (where the floor is linoleum) is of no consequence because the deeds were done and I was left with the mess. So earlier today I was off to see homer. Yep, a trip to Home Depot was called for. I picked up the carpet cleaner and headed home. I got the living room done in about an hour. That included vacuuming, moving only 2 pieces of furniture, (because I moved most of it last night) and cleaning it with the cleaner. Then down to the basement. I was about half way done down there when the machine started to make strange high pitched nosies and to start to smell as if electrical insulation was burning. Back to see Homer again - wouldn't you just have known it what with my luck! Got a brand new machine this time, and a free bottle of carpet cleaner. When I told the gentleman at the counter that I needed more cleaner because the last I had was wasted when the other machine broke down he threw me a free one. That was unexpected and nice. Then back home and I finished up the job after dinner tonight. Well I finished cleaning the carpet. I have about an hour of furniture moving to do yet, but I know enough to allow lots of time for the carpet in the basement to dry before I place furniture back on it lest I get a moldy aroma in a day or two. Luckily my basement is normally very dry even on pretty humid days in the summer. It will recuperate nicely from this bathing experience.

As for the carpets they look pretty good. Now the one in the living room looks like it needs replacing and that is because it does need it but it is clean and decent enough for us not to be ashamed of it if guests come over. As for a replacement, I want to wait until the spring, maybe in May when the weather is mild and we can leave the windows open for a couple to a few days to get rid of the new carpet smell. Then again, if my wife has her way, we will be getting a wood floor installed and throw an area rug over it. We already have solid oak flooring under our carpet but the boards were ruined by the previous tenant's 15 cats. Her being wacky and old meant she did not clean up well. Hmm sounds like a problem for someone I know who owns 4 dogs. I may still see if we can save that floor, or just put drop in wood tiles over it. I would prefer the oak but we did have it refinished and they could not get rid of 2 stained areas. I may just have it stained so dark that those other stains will just blend right in - like walnut or darker. It would save us a bundle. For now the carpet is presentable again, and my wife is having a party on Friday (gals only, when Brendan and I go deer hunting) so I was smart to have gotten it done today - otherwise I would have wound up out in the doghouse where the dogs should have been in the first place!

All the best,
Glenn B

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