I have pretty much made up my mind that I am going to retire at year’s end; and for some reason that made me think there are some things I ought to do before then to have made my career complete before I become a retiree.
1) Use all of my sick leave – of course legitimately; and that should not be too hard to accomplish the way I feel lately.
2) Use no vacation time between now and the end of the year (because I get paid cash for the unused vacation time when I retire)
3) Have one heck of a summer vacation while out on sick leave, of course while actually out on doctor’s orders for a legitimate medical reason, but not one that totally debilitates me thereby allowing me to go fishing or something not stressful as I recuperate.
4) Get myself reinstated as a firearms instructor (a collateral duty from which I was banished about 3 ½ years ago, no reason ever given)
5) Discover the reason for the above end to my collateral duties as a FI, this even if I am never reinstated. Somehow, I doubt this will happen because whomever banished me was not man enough to tell me why in the first place.
6) Have a retirement party that I throw for myself and invited guests only. The list would be large, but exclusive of those people who were
7) Turn down an invitation to my own retirement party thrown by my office, or better yet never receive such an invite.
8) Make out with about 5 of my co-workers, all female, and all gorgeous. This of course is only a hypothetical unattainable fantasy as I have a wonderful lovely wife at home.
9) Work a kiddie-porn case wherein we effect the arrests and convictions of multiple pedophiles. This, for me, would be the most satisfying case to bring to a successful conclusion.
10) Get hired by another federal agency, so that when I retire the word Immigration, as in Immigration and Customs Enforcement, is not on my credentials.
11) Find out I get to keep my issued MP-5 and my issued 870; as for the issue Glock 19, I want to give it back.
12) See the reformation of the United States Customs Service; and thereby the dissolution of both Customs & Border Protection, and Immigration & Customs Enforcement.
13) Work in a capacity, for the next 8 months in which I believe that my investigative abilities and my talents are being utilized to their utmost, and wherein they would make at least a little difference toward getting a good and worthwhile job done before I retire.
14) Make good use of the gym in the office to the point where I lose about 40 or 50 pounds before the end of the year.
15) Not worry too much that it is not yet time to retire; 28 years plus will have been long enough, but I just hope I can convince myself of that.
16) Complete my Master's degree requirements.
17) Find a new job, hopefully as a teacher.
18) Find a nice place to which to retire of which my wife approves, then sell the house, and buy a new one where ever the wife and I can live happily ever after.
All the best,